Perfectionists! It’s Time To Give Yourself Permission To Play
May 15, 2021
I’ve been thinking a lot about perfectionism recently.
More specifically, how the opposite of being perfect is being playful and realizing that it’s human to make mistakes.
The harsh reality of perfectionism is that when we allow it to take hold, we become judgemental and critical of ourselves and others. We spend our time complaining and comparing.
This story you learned from childhood and held onto because it kept you safe and made you feel in control of something? This develops into a mindset of scarcity and often ends with you not feeling good enough.
It’s an unhealthy cycle. It’s also completely against the collaborative and community-focused vibe I gravitate toward. When I say, “You don’t have to be perfect to be paid,” what I mean is that there’s enough out there for everyone.
Enough money.Enough clients.Enough love.Enough success.Enough… everything.When we give ourselves permission to be human, we give others permission as well. And when we don’t? It holds us back.
How perfectionism holds you back
We talked about the tendency of those with perfectionism to complain and criticize. But why do we do this? We feel out of control.
Unfortunately, when you hold tight to your illusion of control, it leads to stress, problems with your relationships, and even issues with yourself.
It’s when you begin to release control and accept yourself with gentleness that you quiet the inner critic inside of you. The world becomes a more beautiful place when you let go.
Need some inspiration? Let me share a story with you about my own breakthrough with perfectionism.
The breakthrough
When I think of fitness and working out, the words that come to mind are work, hard, structured, rigid, and consistent.
I don’t typically consider dancing in my living room, playing tag, running around with my dogs, and acting goofy with my friends as exercise. Yet, it is. I’m moving my body.
If the point of working out is to move my body, and I was doing that, why was my mindset around fitness so negative?
I wasn’t allowing myself to play.
If you’re familiar with Animal Guides, mine is a dolphin. It’s popped up for me many times in my life, but recently, it clicked for me why.
The dolphin card in the Animal Kin oracle deck.
Dolphins are playful and intelligent. They are both. At the same time. They are goofy and have fun while getting shit done.
That is what I want to embody as I heal from my perfectionism. And I’m here to support you as you go down your own path of owning being imperfectly perfect.
3 steps to own being imperfectly perfect
Ready to give yourself permission to be human? Here are 3 steps to break out of your perfectionism so you can show up as your badass self in life and business.
1. Realize your mindset is the only thing holding you back
A good friend of mine (shout out to Saba!) invited me to 2 classes at The Movement Lab in Baltimore. 15 minutes into a Budokon Yoga 101 class and I already had thoughts like, “Fuck this. I don’t want to be here. This is really hard. I’m not doing it right.”
At the same time, I had another thought come in: “It’s okay to not do this right.”
The truth? I was uncomfortable.
I know you’ve been in the same situation. You may not have been doing Budokon Yoga, but you’ve felt what I felt – insecure, inadequate, inferior.
The comparison monster came out. It felt like everyone else was doing a good job and I was struggling. I fell into the trap of thinking, “I’m not perfect at this, so I need to quit.”
BUT I DIDN’T QUIT.
I kept going. And if I would have left after 15 minutes of being uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have taken 4 more classes that week, which I really enjoyed.
It’s your mindset that holds you back. Are you too in your head to realize you’re not where you want to be? Let your mind go where it goes, then start to unravel the thoughts that keep you small. When you do that, you grow.
And sometimes, it takes an external perspective to realize you’re holding yourself back.
2. Let go
That outside perspective came in the form of my friend Madelyne, who also came to the classes with Saba and I.
When she realized I signed up, she was so excited: “They’re exactly what Jess needs! She needs movement to be fun. It doesn’t have to be hard or perfect.”
Trying an aerial foundations class at The Movement Lab.
Overcoming perfectionism isn’t about not being perfect, it’s about being okay with not being perfect. It’s about letting go.
Understand you don’t have control. Things don’t have to be perfect. You can mess up. You’re allowed to have fun with life and business. You can feel worthy even if things don’t live up to your expectations.
3. Give yourself permission to be human
I can tell you from experience, you’re not going to be perfect at everything you do, but you can still make it fun and enjoyable.
How? Release unrealistic expectations. The more you let go, the more you’ll enjoy your life.
I know because I kept going back to the classes and doing what I could, even though my best wasn’t perfect. I told myself, “It’s okay if I sit in child’s pose while everyone else is in downward dog. My arms hurt right now, but I will build up muscle if I commit.”
This gentle reminder for myself in life also helped me realize something important about my business.
I believe business can be easy and that it doesn’t need to look perfect, but I wasn’t allowing that same belief to permeate into my life.
You can’t get rid of perfectionism, but you can start to heal from it. And as you begin healing from it, you feel confident showing up as your genuine, playful, imperfectly perfect self. In life and business.
If you’re ready to quiet your inner critic and release the need to be perfect, let’s get on a 15-minute coffee chat. I’ve been through what you’ve been through. Let's see how I can support you on your journey to heal your perfectionism.
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